The Tale of Two Brains

‘I start to see: what men call female illogicality, it is actually logic, just different from theirs.’ /Robert Merle/

How many times has happened with you that you have not understood what your partner, spouse, friend or relatives of the opposite sex are doing? And how many times has this incomprehension led to a quarrel or miscommunication?

Would like to understand your partner a little bit more? This video is an MUST-TO-SEE:

Two years ago, my friend, Kata showed me this video and since then I have watched it many times and have shown it to many friends. Not just because I love the presentation style of Mark Gungor, but in my opinion the video is a 13-minute AHA-moment with full of ‘oh-ok-it-makes-sense’ and ‘Aha-now-I-understand-it’ and in my opinion it ACTUALLY helps to understand each other more.

I learnt to appreciate the difference between the male and female brain 3 years ago in San Francisco through a very different type of tale, on an evening in March.

I was driving into San Francisco to meet S. in a bar in downtown. It was our fifth date. I was excited and late. Very late! And all started with a detour. The route I knew very well was blocked so I quickly found myself in the middle of the city driving on roads I did not even realized that they existed. And it was not about not knowing the route, it was about the steepness of the streets!!! Yes! My destiny: the steepest streets of San Francisco with a non-automatic car at peak time. The red light caught me on the steepest street in the middle of a traffic jam where cable cars were passing next to me. I felt trapped. As I did not trust the parking brake of the 13-year old BMW I used the clutch not to let the car roll back and crash the car behind me. I know! I know! I hear your hiss! I know now that it was a mistake! I have already known after 10 minutes. Red light-Green light-Red light-Green light-Red light and as I wanted to put it into gear 1, the clutch did not move, neither the car. I saw the steam coming from the hood and I could immediately smell the burnt rubber. The whole street could smell it. And I felt the pure panic inundated my mind and the grip in my stomach. I did not need to be a brain surgeon to make the right diagnosis: I burnt out the clutch of the car.

Firstly, the car did not belong to me! I was driving the ‘Baby’ (aka BMW) of my former employer, H., who has been already holding a grudge against me because of other former ‘car-glitches’. (I would silently note that LIFE loves to teach me lessons through car accidents. I have been collecting them for years now.) Secondly, I had no clue what to do. So I called S. in tears for help.

He arrived in 10 minutes and I was extremely grateful for his presence. In the middle of the emotional storm of my mind, I could not think rationally. As Mark mentions in the video: I was speeding on the highway of my mind, connecting everything with everything: my employer-theBMW-broken clutch-howIwillfigureoutthis-howIwillgethome-where is the service-what is the number of AAA-buzzzz buzz buzz.. so I passed my mobile to S. telling ‘I could not speak English. Could you please talk to AAA, the towing service as my mind was blocked to understand even simple sentences?’. And he did. He organized everything and as we were waiting on the street he was keeping saying ‘I will be fine’. My emotionally overwhelmed and overheated brain stood against his ice-cold rational brain. I wanted to yell at him that how the hell he could tell that I was fine as I felt that I was sitting in the middle of the deep sh*t. But I did not do it! I did not do it because he was right! His presence and rationality helped me to cool down.

After a 1.5-hour nerve-racking wait, AAA arrived and as the driver started the engine to park my car onto the tow-away car the clutch actually worked. It was seriously burnt, but it WORKED! I could not believe it and I thought he was joking, but I could drive home.

The dense smell of the burnt clutch stubbornly and persistently stayed with us in the garage for a week and I had a very very long week facing daily with the anger and the look of the reproach of my employer, but looking back… it was worth it.

That burnt clutch taught me a lifelong lesson and since then I understand more and appreciate more the brain of men and their rational thinking.

 

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